The headline of a throwaway article on my newsfeed recently drew my attention to a topic that I'd not considered before. It proclaimed that part of the boredom that besets some retirees comes from the loss of an audience.
Not just any audience, mind you - it's about being seen to do things that matter by people who matter.
Feeling purpose comes from feeling valued. Retirees who jump into volunteer opportunities that bring them in contact with a new crowd might not get that same sense of meaning.
The "attaboy" after your first day at the shelter from the volunteer coordinator doesn't yet carry the weight of the colleagues who genuinely sought out your input, or the approval of the boss on a presentation you knocked out of the park. You need time to establish a new community whose judgment carries the weight of the one you left behind.
I find it an interesting thing to consider in light of the drift I've felt the past few weeks.
My kids have commitments and friendships that absorb most of their time and energy. When I pine for the days when they were more available, my wife snaps me out of my funk by reminding me that I'd me more concerned if they were always around and spent most of their time with us.
When I'm out of the office, I lack routine. I ride my bike or bodyboard first thing in the morning, followed by the best breakfast ever and some time to read in a shaft of sunlight on the daybed, but that's where I start to falter.
Lacking structure, I might wander over to online strategy games - a pastime that, while enjoyable, becomes a time sink for hours taken away from interacting with friends or family.
This also blurs some lines: where in-person game nights with friends are a source of connection and joy, the same games played randomly online can contribute to a sense of isolation and social withdrawal.
I know I can do better, but I lose the motivation to dig out. And because no one is watching , no one notices my lost opportunities.
This worries me regarding the uncertainty of a future retirement - will it be a hole I have too little motivation to exit?