Since our eldest was accepted to university, I've spent a bit of time thinking ahead about what life could be like in this next phase.
I'm trying to incorporate wisdom from the excellent book Designing Your Life, by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, where they advocate exploring a transition to a new activity or role gradually to determine whether the reality will live up to the expectation.
When I consider examples of folks who have bridged the divide successfully, I look to friends like Dr. Matt Poyner, a financially savvy Canadian ER doc I first came across when he and his family of six (!) took a year off from the typical suburban grind. They sold the house, each packed only what could fit in an individual carry-on backpack, and they proceeded to travel the world together for a year.
Matt returned with a renewed appreciation for what he did and did not want to spend his life energy doing, and after a trial as a part-time "Emerg" doc, he concluded he was done with the practice of medicine.
He and the family set up a new home, trialed hobbies as businesses (Matt is a talented woodworker), and explored passions. Matt realized that the same skillset that had set him up for financial independence was something that connected him to other Canadian docs - he enjoyed lecturing about how to invest simply and wisely, how to avoid the pitfalls of less than ethical touts masquerading as financial advisors, and how to plan for retirement. Dabbling became a hobby, and the joy that validated that hobby led to an encore career as a flat fee financial advisor.
I'm not sure that I'm anywhere as ambitious or motivated as Matt, but I certainly want to find a way to feel useful.
My late father provides another role model. He retired unexpectedly at age 55 due to a newly diagnosed heart condition that required urgent open heart surgery. Thankfully he survived that surgery (and complications requiring a return to the OR), but once he made it past the recovery stage he struggled with how to contribute.
He was Mr. Mom to my youngest sister (she's almost 12 years my junior), and then suddenly she was an independent teen and he was once again a man on a mission. He ended up finding his purpose as a substitute teacher in the intermediate and high school system in my hometown.
He was beloved. He would come to class with a "magic wand," typically an LED light or sound effect-bedazzled device from the 99 Cent Store that he'd use to turn students into frogs if they did not behave.
A couple of years into Dad's new gig, my youngest sister discovered a facebook page naming dad the Best Substitute Teacher in the Universe, with over 200 local student signatures attesting to his new status.
I spend a good deal of time figuring out how I hope to double down on certain aspects of empty nest life that correlate with thriving in this next stage.
To deepen friendships; root myself in community; pursue hobbies; and maintain a creative output (at the risk of disappointment, but you are reading it); to grow toward and with my wife.
Defined contribution used to mean yet another tax-deferred account to reduce my taxable income; at this stage in life, it's come to signify giving back in a way that supports (or at least doesn't compromise) these parallel goals.