I took a walk this week - it was perfect California summer day of clear skies and sunshine illuminating the Pacific. It was made even better by the company of a tier one friend.
The friend and I both have kids applying to college, and the process is a grind. Part of what we discussed was that in high school, kids are asked to make decisions (what will you major in?) with implications that they need to choose what career they want to pursue for the remainder of their adult lives based on their knowledge of what careers exist.
Part of the problem, we agreed, is that kids only know of the existence of a handful of the thousands of potential career paths that exist. How scarce life would feel if I thought my ice cream flavor choices were restricted to chocolate, vanilla or strawberry when age and experience have led me to discover sweet Italian white wine sorbet (vernaccia gelato), chocoholic chunk and Turkish coffee.
Story Break
In high school, I was "adopted" by a community elder. He and his wife were well to do immigrants from Europe, belonged to my grandparents' generation, and never had children of their own. He owned a couple of horses and would invite me a few times a year to ride with him.
He was a blast. We'd ride, and then after he might invite me for lunch. He'd ask the waitress for a glass of ice, and when he thought no one was looking, he'd empty a shot of vodka from a hip flask into the glass to enjoy with his meal.
A former steel magnate, he'd retired comfortably and (like many successful businessmen I've met) had no shortage of opinions.
The only one that stuck with me over the years was his insistence that career aptitude testing was a reliable way to give an otherwise confused young person some scientifically validated direction as to what careers would suit their skills and personality.
I think about that often - might it be worthwhile providing this sort of testing to my kids (there are free versions, and paid versions that run into the thousands of dollars) to help define additional items on a theoretical menu of professions?
Back To The Topic At Hand
Ordering items that were never listed on the conventional menu has led to some of the most important aspects of my professional career, which has in turn deeply altered my personal trajectory.
Helping to forge a pathway for part-time clinical work in a group that had never offered such a pathway extended my runway and allowed me to last longer in a field with a high burnout rate.
Saving aggressively early in my career and making financial literacy a priority allowed me to cut back earlier than I would have otherwise, making time for family and community-building.
Switching from my clinical career to an exclusively administrative track allowed me to reinvent my career and use an entirely different part of my brain to engage (and attempt to disentangle) the complexity of the health care system on behalf of my colleagues and our patients.
Working half-time within that role so that I could better support my mother after my father died allowed me to be present for a very tough period of transition in my family.
On a lighter note, selecting an island in Greece that was not in any guidebook nor on any itinerary turned out to make for the best family vacation we ever experienced, despite the fact that it began with a wasp sting and lost luggage.
Ordering off the menu cultivates whimsy, creates opportunity and reduces aggravations. When your wheels don't fit on the standard track, with a little work, you can build your own track.
So the question is, how do I take that singular life experience and apply it to my kids to broaden their world view?
How do I convey that life won't end if they don't get accepted to a name brand college.
How do I let them know they have so much more to choose from in a profession than vanilla, chocolate and strawberry?