I Just Want To Freeze My Credit, Not Read Your Friggin’ Article

Links below to freeze your credit report, can be done completely online:Equifax
Cost: Free
Time: 10 minutes

Experian
Cost: $10 in California, varies by state
Time: 10 minutes

TransUnion
Cost: $10 in California, varies by state
Time: 10 minutes

Innovis*
Cost: Free
Time: 5 minutes

ChexSystems
Cost: Free
Time: 5 minutes

Irony: You have to pay the fees by credit card; can you trust them with your info?

*Thanks to commenters Joanne and Just Helping for alerting me to Innovis!