This is the reality of hitting your peak earning years: every step you take toward autonomy, flexibility and balance comes with a very real opportunity cost. That cost is the largest you will ever consider paying.
Last night was Game Night, and over the usual beers and taunting, a fascinating conversation developed. One of us (a non-MD; I am the only physician in the group) is planning to make good on a dream by taking a 6 month sabbatical from his high paying job.
As he recounted the potential forfeiture of half a year's income, I inquired if it would significantly hinder him from reaching his retirement number.
Nah - he was on schedule to hit that number in the next five to seven years whether he took this break or not.
What would happen at that milestone, when he officially had enough? Would he walk away to pursue other dreams or interests?
He gave me a two part reply that echoes so many of the conversations I have with physician friends I thought it worth recounting here. As a point of reference, this is a friend who is married with kids a few years younger than my own, although his concerns would apply just as readily to unattached non-breeders.
First, he said, he really didn't have that many other dreams and interests to pursue once he checked this activity off of his bucket list. In other words, without work, he'd be at a loss for how to allocate his time.
Second, at about that point in time, he would be at the height of his earning potential within his field - the opportunity cost of walking away from the highest income he'd ever earned would be too attractive to walk away from.
He saw it as uncertainty, a loss of his professional identity and prestige, and foregoing maximal annual income. While he knew in theory that autonomy over his time and the ability to allocate it where precious, he didn't have any idea how he might use this type of wealth.
There is something to his response that makes sense. To know how to effectively perform a task or use a resource, you want to have had some prior experience. For procedures in medicine, the saying goes, "See one. Do one. Teach one."
I would not be surprised if the freedom he enjoys during his sabbatical plants the seed for future dreams and leisure pursuits.
A different friend, a lifetime workaholic who was forced to take time away from his job for the sake of his health, told me that now that he had spent days on end around his kids, he wanted to figure out how he might do more of the same - he really liked the people they'd become.
His path prior to being sidelined for recuperation from a health problem was from the same mold of work-'til-you-die that he'd learned from his father, an immigrant who sacrificed his own life and health so that his kids would have better opportunities.
The way you get good at doing something other than working is by fearlessly throwing a bunch of ideas at the wall to see what sticks. It's a matter of persistence and playing the percentages until you find the right fit and the right tribe.
Until then, it's a series of failures that teach you to better recognize what feels authentic.
When I was young, and my human capital (Bill Bernstein's term for the ability to work to earn) was at its apex, I optimized for income. Now that I've front-loaded the nest egg, I am optimizing for balance.