A year ago, I joined my wife for a brunch with an old friend from college. He brought along a friend, a warm acquaintance of my wife's, and we sat an indulged good food and excellent conversation.
At one point, during a natural turn in our conversation, the acquaintance asked me if I ever thought about what comes next in life.
I think about it all the time.
This led to an invitation to join a virtual book club comprised of other middle-aged folks on the cusp of reinvention with intention. The organizer, an admitted workaholic, has reflected in a manner every bit as vulnerable as any of the other participants.
Since that time, we've reunited online a half-dozen times to discuss books and ideas with a half-dozen regulars and a few individuals who appeared once, never to return.
That space for intense discussions about what comes next, and how to prioritize it all, led to the foundation for a meaningful friendship, such that when major events happen, we now let the other know and lean on the other as a source of support.
This is a wonderful and unexpected place to be as a middle-aged guy - these are the years where, statistically, most of my friends are supposed to come from work, and I'm supposed to feel isolated and emotionally withdrawn from other men.
By virtue of finding another dude of like-minded interest in reinvention and intentional aging; by taking risks in sharing what is and is not working in our lives; and by separating the have-to from the want-to aspects of work and career, we've developed a friendship that each of us can lean into.
So much so, that during a recent visit to our eldest in college, one of the highlights was connecting in person with this avatar friend.
I'm trying to do a better job of keeping track of the small victories. Having a friendship like this is a large victory.